Here it is...

I guess in one regard I do not really know what to write but on the other hand...it is very evident God is working in our lives. For those that know us well we have been on a journey of trying to figure out what God has in store for us next. It has become evident to Michael he does not want to stay in Omaha. Now, I do not feel a huge need/desire to stay in Omaha, nor do I feel a huge need/desire to leave it. I do feel a desire to do the Lord's work. So, if my husband feels spiritual unrest in the Big "O" then I will follow that and pursue other paths with him. So, we ask, what's next?

God has put an interesting variety of thoughts into our heads. Michael has always loved California and so we have wondered if maybe we should look at pursuing something there. Another friend of ours has asked Michael to think about pursuing a ministry opportunity in Arkansas. And still, we think and wonder about Salt Lake City. Or the possiblity of something else that is not even on our radar yet. We have spent much of the last few weeks praying and asking God for things like patience, wisdom and discernment. He revealed to Michael the fact that we need to knock on any doors He places in front of us and seek after His desires for us, rather than our selfish desires. Easier said than done might I add. While I can't say we have necessarily mastered this (and who really has?), we have definitely been listening and seeking. In the past weeks I have been reading 1 Corinthians. As always, God has spoken to me in many different ways. The first came in 1 Corinthians 1:25- "For th foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." So I had to ask myself, "Why would I not want to submit to someone who has such great wisdom and power?"

Not only have we wondered where we are supposed to go, but we wonder what we are supposed to do. This is tricky. Our experience with being on staff in a church has taught us a lot. And through looking at our lives, especially for Michael, it has become increasingly clear that ministry is everywhere...It is in our apartment complex, it is at Jimmy John's, it is in the sweet little faces I work with every day.  This truth brings light but also more confusion. So for me I wonder if I am to stay working in the field I am in now or do I pursue my other love and passion of art? And for Michael, work in a church, go back to school, or something that has not even come to our minds yet? Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 2- "When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." In one word...wow. Talk about honesty.

So, what have I learned on this part of our journey? Sheesh, where do I start? Um, ok, patience...for obvious reasons, our (Michael and I) "Are we there yet, I wanna know NOW" mentality is slowly changing. And by slowly I mean, a snail would beat us in a marathon, slowly. Ok so there is that. What else? For me, I am learning how to submit to my husband while still seeking God. Sometimes in trying to submit and follow Michael (which I have yet to master) I forget to ask God to reveal things to me as well and not just him. I think this journey has also taught some of our friends and family how to be confident and faithful in us. You see, we married young and we have been through our fair share of "mountains and valleys" as individuals as well as a couple. Somewhere in there for a few seconds we may have doubted ourselves which made others doubt our faith and devotion to God and His plan for us. So if you are reading this and you did doubt....while we appreciate your love and concern (because this is usually what these sort of doubts are rooted in), FEAR NOT.....We are seeking. And no, we do not have all the answers, but we know who does and He is the One we are turning to. So pray for us and let us know if we can pray for you!

That's what's up...for now.

Just not fair

There are days where my job can be simple, and there are days where it can be complicated. For obvious reasons I can not give details. What I can say is this...It's just not fair. Thinking about the things these sweet little faces have seen in their short lives is almost too much to bear at times. It is hard not to be angry at the parents who do not love their kids enough to protect them. Now, hear me out, everyone makes mistakes and that is why the Foster Care System give parents a chance to get their kids back. Good people have their children taken away at times. These people often realize their shortcomings, fix their mistakes, and get their kids back. Today is one of those days where I wish it happens more often. You see, some days I just feel as though no matter how much I love on these kids, support their foster parents, and work on their behalf nothing will get done. I guess I have been caught on a bad day. Today is one of those days where I can't help but ask God "Why?" Why do these sweet faces have to endure these things? These things that they have absolutely no control over. It's just not fair. Then the phrases like "everything happens for a reason come to mind". And, as much as I believe that and know it is true the heartache is still there. As much as I have faith that God will work through me and through our wonderful foster parents I can not help but be broken hearted for the things these sweet faces have endured. So, please pray, as I do daily, for these children. Pray for healing, for restoration, and for protection from the sins of others being inflicted upon them. Today my heart is heavy, tomorrow may be a different story. So, with a heavy but prayerful and hopeful heart I say,

Thats whats up...for now.