The bitter pill of ordinary.

That moment when you feel like you have nothing to say that someone hasn't already said? Yeah, I'm there. But hey, who cares? Being consistent with this blogging has proven to be difficult. At one point I thought I could commit to it but obviously...life happens. Pregnancy becomes new motherhood which becomes working-new-motherhood and before I knew it Declan was one and I was one of those "boring" people just living life and going through the motions of my life. Some weeks good, some weeks rough. Then, just when I start to feel like my life is incredibly boring and lame...Friday came and I thought about everything going on and all I did in the last week and then...I fall asleep, lol. To say I am busy is an understatement but, then again, isn't that true for all of us?

Recently my life has been full of ups and downs and I would love to be able to say something profound here about what God has taught me but I don't feel like I have figured it out yet. I can only speculate. God may be teaching me how to be a better wife and mother, and from that point there is several rabbit trails of lessons including patience, communication and of course some mad cooking skills ;-) God may be teaching me how to be close with people and admit that I need people because if I don't admit it I walk an empty path of loneliness. God may be reminding me that everything we have comes from Him and that we MUST be good stewards of what He blesses us with. Each of these lessons has a whole mess of stories that could support why God might be teaching me that particular thing. Forgive me for being a bit vague with that statement I just don't have the time or patience to type each thing out.

So, as I sit here and ponder all of those possible lessons and look back on the last year or so I am realizing several things. First, I am blessed. Blessed to have a job that blesses me and brings me great fulfillment even though it is emotionally exhausting. Blessed to have a wonderful husband who does whatever it takes to provide for his family. Blessed to have a healthy beautiful and slightly ornery toddler. And so many more blessings I could list. Second, though my life is crazy and busy it is ordinary. This realization is bitter sweet. Bitter because I think all of us have a desire to be...what's the word...amazing? We desire our lives to be this great adventure filled with excitement, love and spontaneity. But my life is filled with work, cooking, cleaning and going to bed before 11:30 most nights (I know, so lame right?). But, this ordinary life that I live is also sweet because it is filled with lots of love, lots of smiles and lots of chances. I have so many chances to be a blessing and unfortunately I miss many of them, but when I do catch them...amazing. And just maybe, looking for those chances rather than being focused on myself is how I can go about having that great amazing adventure of a life. Yep, I will ponder that and pray God gives me the strength to live my life this way.

That's what's up...for now.